MEDIJATOR Ana Tomić

Guest Ana TomićHosted by Srđan ŠimacMay 3, 2026

Ana Tomić

About this episode

What you'll hear in this conversation

What if most people aren't malicious, but simply unhappy? Ana Tomić, a trainer in nonviolent communication, embodies a quiet strength that belies the profound shift she advocates for. She challenges the common belief that human nature is inherently prone to conflict, arguing instead that our problems with others often stem not from malice, but from misunderstanding, unhappiness, and a lack of true listening. Tomić shares how this perspective, rooted in her academic and personal path, reshaped her view of conflict resolution, making it less about winning and more about connection. Readers will reconsider how much of what they perceive as aggression is simply someone fighting for their own needs, and how a shift in that perception can transform every interaction.

Insights from the conversation

What to take from this episode

"Other people are not against us, they are for themselves," as Ana Tomić puts it. This simple reframe changes the entire dynamic of conflict, shifting it from an adversarial battle to a negotiation between two parties pursuing their own needs.

Ana Tomić's introduction to nonviolent communication came from a free copy of Marshall Rosenberg's "Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life," given during a university course. She describes feeling a "responsibility" to read it because it was free. The most impactful career paths often start not with a grand vision, but with a small, almost accidental commitment that feels too simple to ignore.

The difference between a boss who "hears" employees but "doesn't actually hear them" is, as Tomić explains, the difference between passive reception and active understanding. True listening isn't just processing sounds; it’s an engagement that implies an intent to understand and respond, not just to acknowledge.

"I wouldn't say people are bad; I would say everyone makes mistakes, but I often feel that such people are not even malicious, but are very unhappy," Tomić says. This distinction suggests that perceiving difficult behavior as a symptom of unhappiness, rather than malice, opens a path to empathy and more constructive engagement.

A manager makes you feel their importance, while a leader makes you feel *your* importance, as the host articulates it. This distinction, which Tomić affirms, is the essence of empathetic influence: true leadership isn't about asserting your own status, but about empowering others.

Academic knowledge alone is insufficient for effective communication; "self-awareness, that self-knowledge, the realization of oneself, is something crucial," Tomić states. She points out that even highly qualified experts can be difficult to interact with if they lack empathy, underscoring that genuine connection requires more than just formal expertise.

"Although we are not responsible for how other people feel, we still need to care, and that has to be felt. We can't fake that," Tomić emphasizes. This means empathy isn't about shouldering another's emotional burden, but about demonstrating authentic concern that cannot be manufactured or merely performed.

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